Cowan Palace: Rob Ready, The Man Behind the Llama

Ashley Cowan talks with a Llama.

This week I had the wonderful opportunity to connect with a fictional fiancé from four years ago; a Pint Sized regular, the infamous Rob Ready.

He’s certainly a leader among the San Francisco theater community and he’s become a bit of a local legend. As a llama. Oh, and other things, sure. But today we’re here to talk about all things llama! Rob has taken on what has become a mascot for Theater Pub and as the past four years have changed us all, the Llama has gone through his own transformations as well.

Rob Ready, Putting The Charm Back Into Charming

What has been your favorite Llama development as he’s grown throughout the years?

When Stuart (Bousel) started writing the Llama pieces he made the character this sad, drunk, funny, bumbling, lovable ass and he just nailed it. Also, having the Llama on the Theater Pub t-shirt is pretty cool. And the fact that we’re actually doing a blog post with questions and answers about a sad drunk Llama. All of those things are awesome.

Yes, Rob. I am totally awesome. Thank you for that. These past few years have been busy for you outside your Llama persona; if you could tell the Rob of four years ago one piece of advice, what would it be?

Go grocery shopping you fat drunken idiot.

Sure. Food is important. So what has been your process taking on this role? And has it changed from year to year?

Yes. These past two years I’ve actually had to prep and memorize and rehearse a little. The first two years the Llama just walked on like an ass hole and pounded a beer while shouting something about pigs and left. Given my personal experience behaving in a similar way, those first two years were pretty simple.

What’s the most challenging part of being a Llama?

I really want to spit a lot more than I do, but I’m afraid it’ll land on people’s shoes.

Where do you find the best inspiration?

Friends.

Do you have any pre-show rituals?

Drink a beer. Run through the lines. Talk to whoever is bartending and let them know I’ll be screaming at them for booze later on.

What’s your favorite memory from working on this festival since it began? Is it pretending to be engaged to me in Queen Mab in Drag? Is it?!

Queen Mab was awesome, though despite appearances, I’m still a little uneasy wearing a dress.

Rob Ready (with Ashley Cowan) in Queen Mab In Drag, proving that a true man knows how to wear a dress.

Playing the Llama opposite Alison Page as the Bear last year was a blast. She was lights out hilarious. Like, she had the audience giggle farting in joy. So every night I just went out and tried to be as funny as she was and also make her laugh.

The script called for the Llama to resuscitate the lifeless Bear and it was so fun. Alison’s trying to stay dead while I’m working overtime to get her to break. One night, the CPR bit turned into me just blowing spittle on her face. She lost it, I lost it and then the audience really lost it.

Having her be so good really motivated me and that bit of competitiveness ended up pushing the whole piece a lot further. (Megan) Cohen and Stuart had written these amazing characters and then Alison and I got just go be goofballs together and by the fifth show we’d added in all manner of physical bits, audience interaction and some new text and were just having way too much fun on stage.

Rob and Allison Page, making history together.

Where do you hope the Llama goes next?

Broadway, baby.

If the Llama could share a pint with one person, who would it be?

Probably himself. He’s a loner. Or a random stranger. Or that fucking Bear.

What’s next for you? What fun project is on the horizon?

GET RIGHT ALL NIGHT is PianoFight’s first ever hybrid music music – comedy – dance party featuring live surf and soul music from the PianoFight Music Department and the show features ForePlays, Imaginary Radio, Anna & The Annadroids, The Lazy Susans, DJ Short Shorts and a big sweaty dance party. It’s this Saturday, July 27 at 8pm at Inner Mission and it’s gonna be awesome.

Then BOA is coming up in September which is always rad.

And PianoFight has been building a space for a thousand years but it’s actually going to open this year. So that’s exciting.

It is exciting. I think your fans will be happy to keep the party going. So, in five words, how would you capture this year’s Pint Sized Festival?

Bittersweet end of an era.

Ah, poetic. Okay, on a different note, if you could set up characters from the last four Pint Sized productions on a date, which two folks would you put together?

Deb O Rah the dildo saleswoman (from Tom Bruett’s play) and a character Sunil Patel played a couple years ago in Nancy Cooper Frank’s play. That would be hilarious.

And just for the record, people can find out about PianoFight at http://www.PianoFight.com or follow us on Twitter @pianofight or on Facebook.

Thank you to Rob Ready for not only being an incredible Llama Hero but for taking the time to talk about Theater Pub. Cheers to you! You can buy Rob a beer next Monday and Tuesday at Cafe Royale as Pint Sized takes over for two more evenings. Get those Llama snuggles while you can!

You can catch Ashley on Twitter @ashcows posting a lot of pictures of her dog or on stage with Custom Made Theatre’s production of Book of Liz playing every weekend until August 18.

Pint Sized, Props and Good Vibes

Theater Pub Artistic Director, Julia Heitner, talks about what it’s been like for her to put together this year’s Pint-Sized play festival. 

It’s not everyday that I get to carry around a large box of vibrators and a bag full of dildos on BART, but it’s all part of the fun of directing for San Francisco Theater Pub.

Last week I had the honor of picking up a package of toys from the Good Vibrations warehouse in San Francisco’s SoMA district. Good Vibes has graciously donated for a new play I’m directing for Pint Sized Plays III, Put it on Vibrate, by Tom Bruett, featuring the acting talents of Kirsten Broadbear and Maggie Ziomek.

After riding home to Oakland with my shopping bag of sex positive swag open for any passerby to see, including the group of BART police next to me (I wonder if they got a peek?), I unpacked everything and snapped some photos of each prop to send off to the playwright, concluding that this was “pretty much the weirdest email I have ever sent someone.”

These may be the first props for a show that have genuinely made me blush, but it is not unusual as an indie theatre director to be on the hunt for less-than-conventional stage props. For the first Pint Sized plays, in 2010, the play I directed, Queen Mab in Drag, by Stuart Bousel, called for a diamond snail ring, and a fairy princess costume for a man (worn very well by Rob Ready). After wondering what the heck a diamond snail ring was, I thought, “I’ll have to make one!” Out came the Sculpey clay and paint.

For Ashley Cowan’s play, Word War, part of PianoFight’s ShortLived, I created a giant iphone/ipad out of cardboard and tape for a dream/dance fight sequence. I also ended up making custom t-shirts for M.R. Fall’s play, Test Preparation, when it was included in BOA X. I’m proud to say the playwright and I designed these ourselves!

For me, part of the fun of putting on theatre with a small budget is finding a way to bring interesting props to life with a bit of glue and paint. Although homemade clay versions of sex toys would have provided a fun and interesting challenge, I am very grateful to Good Vibrations for donating props that we otherwise could not afford in order to bring Tom’s play to life.

I’d like to maintain some element of mystery, so I haven’t posted any pictures of the props. To see what Good Vibes has donated for Put it on Vibrate, plus nine other original short plays by some fantastic local playwrights, you’ll have to come see the show!

Pint Sized Plays III
July 16, 17, 23, 30 & 31, 8pm at Café Royale, 800 Post St. San Francisco, CA 94103
And July 18, 8pm @ The Plough and the Stars, 116 Clement St. San Francisco, CA 94118

Pint Sized Plays Interviews 1: Tom Bruett and Leah Winery

This year’s Pint Sized Plays interviews have begun! First up, we have a pair of this year’s playwrights, Tom Bruett and Leah Winery, both of whom will be participating in Pint Sized, and Theater Pub, for the first time. To find out more about this year’s festival, and the people behind it, make sure you keep your eye on the website- and don’t miss the Pint Sized Play Festival III when it opens at the Cafe Royale this July 16th!

So how did you hear about Theater Pub’s Pint-Sized Play Festival and what possessed you to send something in?

Tom Bruett: I heard about the Theater Pub’s Pint-Sized Play Festival on Facebook through many friends that were sharing info about it. I had this crazy play about selling sex toys that I thought would be perfect for the venue and thankfully the folks at the Theater Pub agreed!

Leah Winery: I’d gone to a Christmas theatre pub with a friend and really felt that I wanted to have my voice heard in such an eclectic mix of people. There are some theatre companies in this town that are ostensibly open to the entire community, but are actually incredibly insular and exclusive. I love that as a relative unknown, my piece was accepted into the festival. It really shows that the producers of Theatre Pub are more concerned with the quality of the writing than the reputations of its writers.

What’s the hardest thing about writing a short play?

Tom Bruett: I think the hardest thing about writing short plays is coming up with a unique and interesting situation and then creating characters that people care about and have something to say in ten pages.

Leah Winery: You run the risk of falling in love with the characters and the story and wanting to know more about their world. God forbid; it inspires you to write a one act or a full length in order to flesh out their journey.

What’s the best thing about writing a short play?

Leah Winery: It forces you to be concise. There’s zero time for exposition or introduction. It’s almost like walking into a random movie theatre half way into the film, watching a single scene, then walking out. In a very tight framework, you have to trim the fat and get to the meat of the story immediately in the name of efficiency.

Tom Bruett: I love short plays because it allows you to have an evening of work by a bunch of different writers, covering a ton of different subject matters. I love the sense of community that is created.

Who do you think is a major influence on your work?

Tom Bruett: Nicki Silver, Edward Albee, Thornton Wilder

Leah Winery: Jack Daniels.

If you could pick one celebrity to be cast in your show, who would it be and why?

Tom Bruett: Jennifer Coolidge. Come on! Wouldn’t you love to hear her try and sell sex toys?

Leah Winery: Steve Carell. He’s the master of the repressed, ticking time bomb type of guy who wouldn’t be able to vent his true feelings about his horrible wife until she was dead.

What is a writing project you are currently working on?

Leah Winery: I’m working on filling out a lovely little Q&A for Pint Sized…

Tom Bruett: I’m working on a play about fighting time and aging. I love comedy, but I’m trying to tackle some bigger subjects.

What’s next for you?

Tom Bruett: I’m starting grad school part time in the fall at SFSU. Looking to round out my BFA in a theatre a bit.

Leah Winery: I’ll probably step away from writing for a while and focus on raising my toddler. I’m sure my next piece will have something to do with poop, and the profound implication that everybody does it…Or zombies from outer space. Or pooping zombies from outer space. That’s never been done on stage, right?

So what upcoming shows or events are you most excited about in the Bay Area Theater Scene?

Leah Winery: I can’t wait to see Truffaldino Says No at Shotgun Players. Ken Slattery is a fantastically funny writer, and the concept of an Italian harlequin clown who ends up in the States in a bizzaro sitcom world is brilliant.

Tom Bruett: I’m very excited about Upright Grand, by Laura Schellhardt, that is opening at TheatreWorks in July. It’s a beautiful play about the relationship between parent and child directed by the fantastic Meredith McDonough.

What’s your favorite beer?

Tom Bruett: Blue Moon!

Leah Winery: I’m actually not much of a beer drinker. (spoken in a gruff, Spanish accent) I don’t always drink beer, but when I do, I prefer Dos Equis…And yes, that was the most interesting response in the world.

Don’t miss the Pint Sized plays, opening July 16 and playing July 17, 23, 30 and 31 with a special performance at the Plough and the Stars on July 18. All the rest are at our usual stomping grounds, Cafe Royale, located at the corner of Post and Leavenworth in San Francisco’s lovely Tendernob neighborhood. Performances are free, no reservations necessary, but show up early and stay late- we’re bound to be sold out and the crowd is always the best part of Theater Pub!

Artistic Director Julia Heitner Announces This Year’s Pint-Sized Plays!

I spent a marathon day on Monday getting inspired at the Theatre Bay Area annual conference, gathering information about interactive experience from Burning Man founders and tips from site-specific mavens, Kim Epifano (Epiphany Productions/Trolley Dances) and Lauren Chavez & Ava Roy (We Players.) With this knowledge fresh in my mind, I am so pleased to announce the line-up for our annual bar-specific play festival, The Pint Sized Plays!

We have 10 new plays by 10 fantastic local playwrights. For Pint Sized III I plan to include everything our audiences love about the festival: entertaining theatre, great acting and direction, live music, beer drinking, and of course, our resident llama! For the first time this year, we are also taking the show on tour to other bars around San Francisco. First stop, the fantastic Irish Pub, The Plough and Stars on Clement Street!

The Line-up:

Beeeeeear by Megan Cohen
Third time Pint-Sized fest playwright, Megan Cohen continues to surprise us with this play about a beer-drinking bear.

Beer Theory by Marissa Skudlarek
Boy meets Girl. Dionysian meets Apollonian.

Celia Sh*ts by William Bivins
What happens when all the mystery is lost from a relationship?

Circles by Seanan Palmero
Watching a Nascar race brings up philosophical questions from the bar patrons. Are we all just going in circles?

Circling by Nancy Cooper Frank
Don’t we all deserve… a parking place right out front?

To Deborah by Leah M. Winery
Friends and family reveal their true feelings about the dearly departed.

Llama by Stuart Bousel
The llama is back!!!

Man vs. Beer by Sunil Patel
A Teetotaler is peer pressured by a talking beer.

Play it Again, Friend by Tim Bauer
Man contemplates life through the music of the bar pianist.

Put it on Vibrate by Tom Bruett
Pleasure party + Mother-in-Law = Hilariously Uncomfortable

The festival runs July 16,17, 23, 30 & 31, 8pm @ Café Royale, (800 Post St @ Leavenworth in San Francisco) with a special touring performance, July 18, at Plough and the Stars, (188 Clement St. @ 2nd Ave in the Richmond District), SF. Additional dates for the festival TBA.