Cowan Palace: So You Wanna Marry A Theatre Person

Ashley Cowan tells it like it is.

Well, more power to you! Here are some pointers!

In ten days, Will and I will be celebrating one year of married life. So in honor of our 355 days of husband and wife stuff, I thought it’d be fun to reflect on ten pearls of wisdom I’ve gained in being a “theatre person” matched with a fellow “theatre person”. Plus, “paper” is the anniversary gift inspiration for the first year and like I always say, blogs are basically just electronic paper (someone hurry and put that on a t-shirt and/or sexy tank top).

Yes, And

Theatre people know the value of a script. If they’re any good, hopefully they’re also good with lines. And when you’re in a relationship, there are certainly times when you put into practice those cues that your partner needs to hear before they can move on to their next bit. (For us, a big crowd pleasing line is usually something like, “I’m bringing home dinner.”) But you also need some sweet improv skillz to up your game. Be ready to be spontaneous, give a well timed compliment, or simply change the subject; just keep that scene going!

Free Entertainment

Every night is a show with The Leschbers! Well, kind of. We do a lot of silly solo performances and we also have rocked many a kitchen duet for fun. We make each other laugh, we’re natural storytellers, and we simply take joy from being able to entertain each other. When something like doing dishes on a Monday night suddenly becomes an impromptu dance party, you’re doing that something right.

The Stakes Are Higher!

Being involved with a creative person often means their sense of urgency and secret desire for drama can often be the third wheel to the relationship. But that also means things can be pretty exciting. Suddenly what to watch next on Netflix becomes a deeply invested adventure and where to order food from is a real heated dialogue.

Creating Space

Yes, you’re a couple and you have a lot of similarities. But sometimes you gotta work on your solo act and encourage your partner to do the same. If you guys were in every scene together, all the time, that would be a boring play. And us theatre folk did not come here to be boring. So book an extra rehearsal room and polish that personal performance (hmm, that sounds a bit dirtier than intended, but you get the drift). It makes the scenes together a whole lot stronger and more interesting to watch.

Food Is Important

Yes. Your spouse is always worth the ridiculous $4 charge for meat on their breakfast bagel sandwich and yes, you are worth the guacamole fee. While we both love our food, it has also become a vehicle for appreciation and thoughtfulness. Though, I guess this isn’t so much of a theatre person thing necessarily, it may be an all person, universal thing. (Pro tip: I’ve also learned that sometimes part of love is offering the other person a bite of your food and secretly hoping they’ll say no.)

The Laws Of Rejection

Whether it’s not getting a coveted part, desired job, or creative opportunity, rejection is a known presence in any theatre person’s world. And, I have to say, it’s a whole lot easier to have someone to share it with. Even if it’s just bitching about how unfair it is that you were turned down or getting a hug after you cried your eyes out or someone to put a scarf on the cat to distract you, rejection is a whole lot easier with the acceptance of a loved one.

Hello, All The Feelings!

I wear emotions better than I wear black yoga pants to almost everywhere but an actual exercise class. I have a closet full of feelings and can get pretty creative with accessorizing a bunch of those emotions into one memorable outfit. Finding someone who can appreciate those colors and encourage them is awesome and being with a partner that says, “no, you don’t look fat in that feeling, you look sexy!” is just wonderful.

Know Your Part

Sometimes you get cast as the lead and sometimes you’re in the chorus. No small parts, only small actors and all that. This is true in relationship stuff, too. It’s all about balance and knowing your audience. Will and I have a rule that we can get big and emotional but not always at the same time. To be fair, it’s usually me who is overreacting and needing a calm presence to talk me down or ensure that I’ve had a snack but when he needs to steal a scene, I do my best to support it.

Finding Your Light

Theatre people know light. Whether they’re under it or observing it, they tend to gravitate to it. Find someone who pushes you into the light and out of a dark shadow. When you find someone who can see you for what you are and who encourages you to be seen by others, you should keep that someone and try to return the favor.

The Show Must Go On

Being with a fellow theatre nerd means you both believe in the show, this crazy act of love. Even with questionable production elements or mixed reviews, you keep going because you don’t know another way. You wear your heart on every costume and stay up late reworking Act One. But it’s awesome and it makes you happy. So you eagerly continue, excited for what surprises await in Act Two.

So to all our kindred spirits out there, being in a relationship with a “theatre person” is great! You may not even realize all you bring to the table but keep bringing it because it’s delicious! And to my scene partner, Will, I love you more than I did 355 days ago. Here’s to our wonderful production!

Theater Around The Bay: Bad Auditions (We’ve All Been There)

Guest blogger Megan Briggs has some tips on how to recover from an audition gone bad.

If you’ve been an actor for more than 5 minutes, you’ve probably survived at least one bad audition. The good news is that you are not alone. I’ve spoken to so many of my actor friends on this subject and they ALL have stories about an audition gone terribly wrong.

While a good audition can make you feel like you’re flying for the rest of the day, a bad one can make you curse the world and want to go home and crawl into bed. And that’s OK. Having been there myself, I’ve come up with my own way of dealing with a bad audition in three easy steps:

Step 1 – Hate the world… for a little bit

So you’ve just had a terrible audition/callback. Maybe you didn’t feel great about the way you read the part. Maybe the director kept trying to give you feedback about the scene but his accent was so thick you couldn’t understand him. Maybe your assigned audition scene partner kept interrupting your scene with lines he made up in an attempt to be more “spontaneous.” Maybe you met the pre-cast male lead and he’s 4 inches shorter than you. Yep, these are all things that have happened to me at auditions, and that’s just the tip of the iceberg!

So in the 24 hours after your bad audition, I give you permission to get mad. Call a friend and rant. Yell at inanimate objects (preferably not in public). Write out your frustration in your journal. Go have a few drinks with your friends. Curl up on the couch and watch stupid reality show marathons to feel better about your own life. Do whatever you need to do to express your frustration, anger and sadness over what has occurred.

Step 2 – An honest post mortem

After that 24-hour period is up and you’ve had a chance to get some distance from the situation, it’s time to take a look at what went wrong. Analyze you actions and your reactions to the situations you were given. What would you have done differently? What would you have done exactly the same? Is there some useful information to be gleaned from all of this? It’s good to be really honest with yourself, without beating yourself up too severely. I personally have gained some great knowledge from doing a terrible audition. Maybe you need to work your audition pieces more, take an improve class, or practice cold reading with a group of friends. You can really improve your audition by reviewing what happened and thinking how you can do better next time.

Step 3 – Go get another audition!

You may know the expression “the best way to get over someone is to get under someone else.” Same thing goes for auditions! The best way to get over a bad one is to go out and have a good one! I find that signing up for another one as soon as possible is the best way to get out and feel like I’m being proactive. Just knowing I have another audition lined up (even if it doesn’t happen for a while) makes me feel better.

The waiting game

Finally there is the situation that every actor dreads.  You nailed the audition, the callback was even better, and the director seemed to like you for the part.  You cross your fingers that at any moment you will get the call offering you the role.   Except that call never comes.  In fact, you don’t even receive an email telling you that you haven’t been cast!
 
That waiting process can be agony, and it’s even worse when you hear absolutely nothing.  At some point, you have to take control and put an end to your own waiting game.  I personally give the director exactly 1 week from the date of the last audition/callback to give me notice on whether or not I’ve been cast.  If I don’t hear anything, I’m going to assume that I have not been cast and consider other options (right after I properly mourn the loss of the part – please see steps 1 thru 3).

Hello? Oh, it’s you Mother. I thought it was the director calling to offer me a part!

I wish that all theatre companies let us know the status of their casting decisions, but as Allison Page pointed out in her recent public service announcement, many companies and directors will never get back to you after an audition.  It’s frustrating, but it seems to be the way things sometimes work in the San Francisco theatre scene.   The one good thing I can tell you is that you are not alone.  It happens to all of us.  

The best advice I can give you is to not let a bad audition get you down for long. The truth is that this is an industry full of rejection and it’s probably always going to be that way. The good news is that actors are awesome people, and we are willing to share war stories with one another in an effort to create a sense of community. If you’re feeling down about an audition, one of the best things you can do is talk about it with another actor.  Chances are they’ve been there and can provide a sympathetic ear and help you feel better.

So get out there and audition with all you’ve got! That reality show marathon wasn’t all that interesting anyway.

Megan Briggs is an actor with a sympathetic ear and few war stories of her own. Starting May 16, you can see her perform (along with her awesome castmates) in The Crucible at Custom Made Theatre Company in SF. You can also check out her non-theatre related blog MacGIRLver: Tips and tricks from a gal who’s been there.