Cowan Palace: Chasing Happiness and Learning to Love the Pursuit

This week Ashley explores finding professional happiness in unexpected places.

It could be the air of anticipation in a new season but I recently realized I’m happier than I’ve been in awhile. Sure, there have been some interesting hurdles to conquer over these past few weeks but overall, I’m feeling much more balanced, inspired, and optimistic. Suck it, 2013.

Why such a change? Well, my endless quest for answers has brought me to an interesting realization.

As you know, I came to San Francisco to pursue theater. And at the time, I thought that meant working any and all part time jobs surrounding the theater that I could get my hands on. I worked for several nonprofit groups in the hope that I was getting closer to my dream, my happiness, to “having it all”!

I was exhausted all the time. And poor. Which was a bit deflating. I would work so hard but never have much to show for it. Most of the time I could barely financially support shows I wanted to see. But I may be one of the most stubborn people out there and I wasn’t willing to give it up without a real fight. And then a sequel to the fight. Followed by a half-hearted third round.

It started to seem stagnant. I never felt like I was moving. I was constantly surrounded by the thing I had claimed to love the most and it wasn’t adding up; theater was all around me in one shape or another but it wasn’t providing the joy I had expected and fought for. I lived in the pressures of budget cuts, harsh industry realities, and consistently changing staffs. It seemed that most people who crossed my professional path were uninterested in fighting to the death for places unwilling and unable to fight for them in return. What a concept.

So I left my string of multiple nonprofit jobs because I couldn’t afford to stay and I just wasn’t happy enough to fight anymore. I switched over to marketing in more corporate settings with companies who appeared overly enthusiastic to bring a “theater person” to the mix. I figured maybe in this different setting I’d pursue some other interests while still getting the chance to do my theater stuff in my free time.

And I was pretty miserable. The environment did very little for me and I found myself surrounded by people with very different passions. Even when I left the office, I found myself to be angry and irritated. I had hoped to pursue my dreams outside of work but mainly, my energy was low and I didn’t have the drive to chase projects I should have.

When I was in college, I double majored in Communications (focused in Marketing/Public Relations) and Theatre (focused in Performance). So in attempt to find my happiness, I traded in one career path for the other. One side had heart, character, but an unsteady foundation and the other side had ambition, money, and an ignored foundation.

I quit my corporate job to go to Disney World with a group of my closest friends (BECAUSE I’M AN ADULT AND I DO WHAT I WANT!) and when I returned I was unsure which path to try. So I watched a lot of Netflix. (Seriously, if anyone wants to talk about Revenge or Scandal, I can do that now!) And I applied to hundreds of jobs. In all different fields. I figured, eventually, a door had to open and I’d know where to go. This process proved to be frustrating and soul-crushing at times for a sensitive gal, such as myself. People would encourage me to “hang in there” and that the right job would find me and it would all be worth it! I wanted to punch them all in the throat.

But a few months later, after filling out a seemingly random online application and continuing to move forward with a new company, I found something different.

Now, I’m not going to go into too much detail about it because I need to save some juicy details for a later blog (and it’s pretty juicy, guys, it’s like almost as interesting as Scandal). But I will say that I currently work in the tech industry San Francisco is known for… just in a fairly unique way. It’s not theater and yet, something feels right.

I love being able to work in an environment that doesn’t drain my energy and pushes me to go home and be creative during my free time. I love working with people who appreciate my contributions and are still willing to laugh at my puns (it’s a fairly small office and they’re getting some of my best material). But mainly I love finding happiness in the most unexpected places.

In my experience, I found that when I’m happy, theater is everywhere. Even when it’s not my main source of income or the place I go to for 40 hours a week. I’m still going to keep fighting for my dreams but at the moment, I’m content with where I am. And the only thing I can suggest is that everyone deserves to find a workplace that works for them too. Don’t go down a path that you’ve already tried if it made you sad, keep opening doors! Eventually, something will be worth going inside for; you’ll step into kinder grounds. Until then, you’re welcome to imagine punching me in the throat.

Cowan Palace: The Year of the Horse and a Whole Bale of Pun

Ashley Cowan explores the Year of the Horse. With an alarming amount of horse puns.

And just like that I realized we were already a month into 2014 . Yikes! Is this year already passing quickly for you guys or is it just me? Well, luckily for us all we’re right in the middle of another beginning. We’ve just transitioned into the (lucky) 7th spot of the Chinese Zodiac: The Year of the Horse! You’re probably thinking, hey, what does that mean? And I’m probably thinking, hay is for horses! Because I’m almost always thinking of some kind of pun. But that’s what I’m here for, neigh-sayers! A crash course in what the Year of the Horse means and how it could lend a helping hoof to the theatre scene. Don’t rein on the parade; it’s time to horse around!

So, some basics: the Chinese New Year begins with a fifteen day party kicking off with the first new moon of the calendar year. The year officially started on January 31, 2014 and will conclude on February 18, 2015. There are twelve animals that cycle through the Chinese zodiac: rat, ox, tiger, rabbit, dragon, snake, horse, goat, monkey, rooster, dog, and pig. Our physical world is made up of five key partners: earth, water, fire, wood, and metal. Both factor into designing our year ahead. Recently, we let that sneaky water snake go and as our Trojan friends once did, we invited the wood horse in to celebrate.

It’s believed that those born under their chosen animal may grow up to display certain personality traits and depending on the characteristics of the animal, the year can also follow particular trends. For example: horses are known for their speed. They are noble, quick travelers who represent an elegant freedom. They can ease into the unfamiliar and embrace spontaneity. So it’s believed that the wood horse year could be a time of surprise adventure, epic victory, and even bold romance. You’ll find energy levels may be higher. And drive and focus can result in production.

It’s also the time to consider jumping off into the unknown and exploring something new. But because things can move so fast, you must be confident in your choices or you may get thrown far in the wrong direction. Overall though, the Year of the Horse is considered a lucky year! So go get a lottery ticket!

Or. Consider that theatre project you’ve been brewing over for months. Or years. This could be your time to kick it into high gear. While the water snake of 2013 may have been solid in middle ground territory, our pal, the horse, treads in more extreme grounds. A snake year is often a time for careful thought and deliberation while a horse year can inspire faster immediate actions.

That said, the wood horse of 2014 could bring about some large ups and downs. Some will enjoy great strength while others will suffer from its weakness. The most common advice several astrologers offered was to have confidence in taking a leap of faith and trusting your wings. Follow your instincts and stop thinking so much. Besides, next up is the wood sheep year of 2015 and that’ll be all about enjoying life’s slower comforts.

This year should focus on truly enjoying the adventure of life and reveling in some of those impulsive ideas. Though be mindful that because of this tendency, folks tend to overspend without considering the consequences because they’re so focused on the moment. So that prized theatre production you’re working on could cost you. My advice? Be the optimist the year seems to lend itself to but keep your eyes open on that leap of faith and pay attention. Learn from your surroundings as you take them in and trust your potential success. And try to budget accordingly before you leave the money and run.

Personally, I’ve already started to sense some of the creative energy waiting to pop. It feels like many folks are taking the chance to self-produce or start a project they’ve been sitting on for too long. Well, according to the Chinese zodiac, the odds are in your favor. Take advantage of that and let’s make more work! More plays, more art, more puns!

In whatever you do, I wish you a triumphant Year of the Horse. And remember: you’re never pasture prime to ride or fly. (I’m a real night mare with all these, huh?)