Everything is Already Something Week 29: Haiku for Playwrights

Allison Page, better late than never.

And now, a bunch of Haiku about the ups and downs of playwriting which are totally plaguing me right now:

ACT 1
I guess I should start,
Inciting incident right?
Nah I’ll watch TV

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HEAD COUNT
40 characters,
Who would produce this monster?
Not my problem…art.

CONDITIONS PERFECTO
I can’t write it’s cold,
I need a pony to write,
I can’t write it’s hot

DIVERSITY
Too many white men,
Must change world with this play,
No pressure yeah right

ACT 2
Disappearing guy,
Character gone since scene four,
I guess he’s dead now

PUT UP A FIGHT
Characters argue,
Who says “poppycock” for real?
Talk like humans talk

TEARS OF A CLOWN
I hope no one laughs,
When that guy starts crying hard,
Please get good actor

FLESH WOUNDS
But how much stage blood,
Is too much stage blood, you guys,
Is five buckets cool?

ACT 3
Uh oh story fades,
Can’t sustain three acts no way,
Better make it two

STAR POWER
I need Cate Blanchett,
Otherwise this play is shit,
Guess this play is shit

Silently judging you

Silently judging you

TAKING A BREAK
I’ll stop for a sec,
Just for a cup of coffee,
Oops been 9 hours

GRAND FINALE
Endings are so bad,
But how do I make it stop,
Ev’rybody dies

REVISIONS
I hate the whole thing,
Let’s make it Greek tragedy,
Keep only first page

Allison is toiling over two scripts at the moment. You can follow her adventures on Twitter @allisonlynnpage.

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