For those who have somehow never heard of her, Helen of Troy was born Helen of Sparta, the daughter of the mortal queen, Leda, and the king of the gods, Zeus. The principal legend (of course there are several and we’ll get into that later) is that Zeus came to Leda as a swan, made love to her (for all intents and purposes, Leda appears to have been a very willing participant in her seduction in addition to being adventurous on the bestiality front), either shortly before or shortly after her own husband, Tyndareus, had done the same (sans swan form, one hopes). Nine months later, Leda gave birth to a pair of eggs, each containing a boy and a girl infant. The first contained Tyndareus’ children, the mortal Clytemnestra and Castor; the second contained Zeus’ children, the immortal demi-gods Helen and Pollux. You would think this miraculous birth would have been pegged for the end of times sign it was, but Leda and Tyndareus apparently took this in stride and raised their four chicks (get it?) relatively without incident until Helen hit puberty.

That’s when she was abducted for the first time, by no less than Theseus, the king of Athens and famed killer of the Minotaur. Castro and Pollux manage to get her back, but it’s not a good sign of what’s to come and Tyndareus, knowing this, decides to marry her off as quickly as possible. The problem is, Helen is so beautiful EVERYBODY wants to marry her and virtually every king in the known world shows up, or sends his sons, and all of them bring friends. Tyndareus is so worried he will offend somebody that he defers making his decision for as long as possible (in some versions, years) until he can finally come up with a plan. The most popular legend is that everybody’s favorite smart guy, Odysseus, shows up, though already happily married, basically to watch the fun and Tyndareus  asks him for advice. Odysseus, of course, has a plan, and first gets all the kings and princes courting Helen to agree to accept whoever is declared Helen’s husband and uphold the sanctity of their marriage, and then, in a novel move for the time, lets Helen pick her own husband, so as to remove all blame from her father. Helen picks Menelaus, the younger and not particularly distinguished brother of Agamemnon, king of Argos, who is already betrothed to Clytemnestra, Helen’s sister. Her choice is pretty much the one NOBODY expected and so the various suitors accept it almost immediately, figuring there must be something wrong with Helen to go for the runt of the liter. The truth is, Helen probably just picked the man she knew would be easiest for her to control (modern interpretation) or she may have even genuinely loved him, probably because he’s a more sensitive guy than the average Greek tyrant (the romantic interpretation). Either way, they are wed, and Tyndareus abdicates so that Menelaus and Helen can rule Sparta. Agamemnon marries Clytemnestra, so the brothers and the sisters become Greece’s biggest celebrity monarchs over night. For a while, it looks like everything will be okay.

And then a Trojan prince named Paris comes to town and everything falls apart. Ostensibly on a diplomatic mission, Paris falls in love with and either seduces or kidnaps Helen, taking her back to Troy and breaking pretty much every rule of hospitality (enormously sacred to the Greeks and the Trojans). To some extent, Paris feels justified in doing this- he had been promised Helen as a bride by the goddess Aphrodite, after he awarded her a golden apple that the goddess Eris had deigned worthy of only “the fairest” goddess on Olympus. Since Aphrodite is one of the protector goddesses of Troy, this probably accounts for why Priam, king of Troy, agrees to shelter the miscreant couple, and essentially tells the Greeks they can accept Helen’s weight in gold or they can accept nothing at all, but what they won’t be getting back is Helen. Menelaus, of course, wants her back, as by now Helen has not only mothered at least one daughter by him (Hermoine), but she’s grown into the most beautiful woman alive and let’s not forget her status as a daughter of Zeus. Additionally, Troy has been controlling the entrance to the Black Sea for years and so any excuse for a war is a good one as the Greeks have grown tired of paying passage taxes on the trade routes. Menelaus invokes the oath that Tyndareus and Odysseus struck with all the suitors and the Greeks declare war on Troy, with Agamemnon in the lead (who, considering he wasn’t part of the oath of Tyndareus, is most definitely there for ulterior motives). It takes two years for the troops of the various city-states to amass, and once the fleets of the Argives hit shore on enemy territory the war lasts another ten years. By the time it ends, two of the most powerful and advanced cultures of the world are decimated and in ruins and the dead are numberless.

The rest, as they say, is history… or mythology. Even in their own times, the Greeks weren’t sure how much of the saga of the Trojan War was truth, and how much was legend. What they all agreed on, though, is that it marked the end of the Age of Heroes, that time in Greece when the gods roamed the land, monsters and magic were pervasive, and heroes rose up to make the world a better place. In typical Greek style, the end of the world didn’t come with floods or fires or plagues of Biblical proportion, but rather with just plain old social chaos after virtually every significant leader of the known world is killed in the Trojan War, and the ones who survive make it home only to discover everything in various arrays of disorder, from angry housewives (Clytemnestra, for instance, most famously murders Agamemnon the day he gets back) to entire kingdoms lost to occupying armies, pirates or other external forces. Only a handful of regions survive relatively unscathed or are able to rebuild themselves. One of them is Egypt, something which we’ll talk about more later.

The fascination and controversy surrounding Helen starts with her “abduction”, and essentially revolves around the classic question of any cuckolded husband whose world view is, shall we say “old fashioned” (read: misogynist): did she go of her own free will, or was she raped? The difference being, of course, that Helen’s own willful participation in her ill-fated second marriage casts her as either a victim or a villain. Either way, she’s still a scapegoat, occupying a place in Greek mythology held only by one other person: the first woman, Pandora, who is the classical world’s equivalent to the Judeo-Christian figure of Eve. Like Pandora, Helen is a divine emissary, and can be seen as essentially a trap dressed up pretty by the gods, a time bomb with a smile that is intended to make humanity suffer. Some poets, like the famously anti-woman Hesiod, used both Pandora and Helen as examples to uphold a widely accepted belief that women were a curse upon humanity- especially if they were pretty- and best off subjugated by men, who could only come to grief through loving them. But Hesiod’s opinion was hardly indicative of all Greek perspective, and just as Greek women were held in different regards depending on the region or era, portrayals of Helen ranged from sympathetic to damning long before she was romanticized by Renaissance writers and painters like Marlowe (who coined the famous phrase “the face that launched a thousand ships” when Helen makes a cameo in his play, Dr. Faustus). In our age, Helen has been reclaimed (and re-written) by modern feminists such as Marion Zimmer Bradley and Margaret Atwood, turned into the ultimate woman “cursed” by her own desirability.  Euripedes himself painted several different portraits of Helen, using her as a canvas to express his rage over the treatment of women, the futility of war, and the dangers of vanity and self-absorption. Over the next few weeks, as we get closer to Theater Pub’s reading of his play, Helen, I’ll explore some of the different masks this famous face has worn.

Check in next week for another segment of Stuart Bousel’s ruminations on Helen of Troy, and don’t miss Theater Pub’s free dramatic reading of Helen on Tuesday, February 14th, Valentine’s Day, at 8 PM at the Cafe Royale!

If you’re single, what better place to come launch a thousand ships with that sexy smile? If you’re paired off, bring your beloved and learn from the Great Poet while you’re still sober enough to absorb something useful, then get drunk with us afterwards and screw it all up during the trip home!

Starring Tonyanna Borkovi, Kirsten Broadbear, Nick Dickson, Maura Halloran, James Kierstead, Dan Kurtz, Theresa Miller, Tonya Narvaez, Karen Offereins, Marissa Skudlarek, Aaron Tworek and directed by Stuart Bousel, this will be a classic Theater Pub dramatic reading, complete with sexy actors in sheets and perhaps a Valentine’s Day Treat or two.

Admission is FREE with a suggested five dollar donation. No Reservations necessary, but we encourage early arrivals to get the best seating. The show begins at 8 PM!

As I arrived in New York, protesters stormed the set ofLaw & OrderSVU to protest the use of Occupy Wall Street for commercial entertainment value. In Boston, I witnessed a satirical Occupy march where the protesters dressed as the 1% and claimed things like, “More Blood for Oil,” “Education is a right, only for the rich and white,” “Longer hours, less pay,” and “Let them eat cake.”

At the read-through for the show on Sunday I asked the cast, musicians, writers and directors to throw out thoughts about their experience with the Occupy Movement. What resonates are both positive and negative reactions to the fluid nature of the movement, that it seems to take voice from the most important issue (or issues) in a particular community. People are upset and moved by so many different issues that using the term “Occupy” has been an all encompassing way to include everything from Wall Street, unemployment to police brutality.

With Occupy Theater Pub! I am hoping to present a wide variety of perspectives and allow the audience to draw their own conclusions about their own role in the Occupy Movement. The show features both new and historical material including: a first hand account of the Occupy Oakland protest by writer Matt Werner; a childhood board game take on Occupy Wall Street with “Occupy Park Place” by Kirk Shimano; a Kindergarten teacher trying to help us make sense of the Occupy protests in “Occupy the Kids” by Ashley Cowan; and a misguided superhero in Claire Rice’s “Occupy Man.”  There are also reflections on the Civil Rights Movement with a speech by Huey P. Newton, founder of the Black Panthers and new play by Christian Simonsen, “Last Man Sitting,” about what happens after the protests end.

What is important to me about presenting Occupy Theater Pub! is engaging in a dialogue that is happening now. The topic of Occupy is rich, loaded, thrilling and seems to still be finding its footing both on a local, national and international level. I am both excited and terrified to put on a show that is about something that is still moving and changing, young and misunderstood.

If you are inspired to get involved after the show, I recommend checking out the information about the upcoming OccupyWallStreetWest next Friday, January 20, 2011.

And don’t miss OCCUPY THEATER PUB on Monday, January 16th at 8 PM! This is a FREE event, so we don’t take reservations, but get there early to ensure a seat!

Occupy Theater Pub! Join us at the Cafe Royale on Monday, January 16 at 8 pm for an evening of new theater, first hand accounts and historical letters and speeches that reflect on the meaning of the Occupy Movement, Civil Rights, and generally taking a stand for what you believe in!

Featuring original writing by Gabriel Bellman, Jeremy Cole, Ashley Cowan, Claire Rice, Kirk Shimano, Christian Simonsen, Eileen Tull, Matt Werner and some classic stuff by Lillian Hellman and Huey P. Newton.

And to our wonderful and supportive audience, may you have the happiest of holidays, safe travels, good presents, full bellies and warm houses.

See you all next year!

Featuring SF Theater Pub stalwarts Stuart Bousel, Xanadu Bruggers, Kat Bushnell, James Grady, Michelle Jasso, Sara Judge, Carl Lucania, Kai Morrison and Rana Weber, along with debut pub performances from Cory Clar, Sean Fenton, Jim Jowdy, Paul Rodrigues and Kelly Sanchez.

Hymnals provided at the door so you can sing along, this free event begins at 8 PM on Monday, December 19th at the Cafe Royale (800 Post Street in San Francisco). Arrive early in your best rock and/or holiday wear and patronize our fabulous hosts! 

Well, lucky you, we have a second helping of this Thanksgiving feast, starting tonight at 8 PM at the Cafe Royale!

Don’t miss this staged reading of Brian Markley’s first full length play about giving thanks for what we do have while working to make the world a better, more tolerant place- starting at the border.

Admission is FREE with a suggested donation of $5.00. Get there early as we do tend to fill up and support our fantastic hosts by buying a beer or three!

See you all at the pub!

Staged by Rik Lopes, this fully staged reading will not only be the trial run for this exciting new work, but the first time an original full length play has been performed at Theater Pub. Don’t miss this big moment in the history of our company!

Funny, poignant and challenging, CUSTOMS follows a few days in the life of an SFO customs employee of mixed cultural and ethnic heritage who finds herself navigating social and romantic questions that challenge our ideas of what it means to be an outsider and what it means to belong.

The show begins at 8 PM at the Cafe Royale (800 Post Street, San Francisco) and is absolutely FREE, though we do encourage a donation of $5.00 at the door. Reservations are not necessary, but just like the airport we recommend you get there early to ensure a smoother experience!

So how would you best sum up your involvement with Theater Pub?

Four of us pitched it to the Cafe Royale after deciding it would be a great way to mix our shared love of inclusive, immersive theater, and drinking in public. I’ve been to all but two, and I’m normally the guy moving chairs around or plugging in sound equipment upstairs.

What do you like best about Theater Pub?

The after party. Er… the synergistic theater community rap sessions that come from having a comfortable place to congregate immediately after a show. I’ve also loved seeing so many new writers (including me) get their feet wet and gain confidence to do bigger works and submit elsewhere after getting their start here.

What first inspired you to write this play?

A number of things, the most immediate being hearing Karen Offereins perform the Landmark Theaters’ “The Language of Film is Universal” intro in ten languages. The larger was a friend visiting from my home state of Michigan. I thought he’d be a helpless hanger on in my new “big” city, and then watched his authentic sense of place and confidence, and his knowledge of modern music and movies, win over my friends here. It first made me realize that places are just places, with borders and accents not meaning as much as shared references, sports, interests and other “customs.”

What has the process been like, of bringing this to life for the first time?

What has you most excited?

The prospect of feedback from all the people in the local theater community that I respect- actors, directors, pub regulars. Hopefully, people will find it funny. Double hopefully, it will “mean something” to someone.

What are you the most nervous about?

See above.

This is sort of a holiday special. How much of a role does Thanksgiving really play in the show?

Apart from being a plot device, there’s a lot about thankfulness keeping you humble and maybe a little more connected to your roots. Thanksgiving is about non-exclusivity, so it’s the best holiday to help tell this story.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving memory?

Getting to leave the kids’ table for the first time when I was 25 after a cousin started to spend the day with a new family.

What’s your favorite Thanksgiving food?

Pre-vegetarian: dark-meat turkey. Post-vegetarian: mashed potatoes infused with turkey smell.

Make sure you catch Brian Markley’s CUSTOMS, playing on November 21 and November 28 at the San Francisco Theater Pub (Cafe Royale, 800 Post Street), starting at 8 PM. No reservations necessary, but we suggest you get there early to get a good seat. Admission is FREE, but thank our hosts and order a beer or three!

Join us for a staged reading of a new play, “Customs”, by Brian Markley. Our first original full length written for the bar we call home will transform the Cafe Royale into the SFO Buena Vista Airport Bar and give you an insider’s look at the two busiest flight days of the year.

Four young Customs officers and assorted airport denizens have their own ideas about proper-paperwork, common traditions, and what it means to be a team-player. Can being really thankful help to chill us the hell out? There should be plenty of beer to make the flight a smooth one.

The play will run ~1:25 minutes, with a short beer-break in the middle (although the bar is open throughout!). Admission is the usual FREE with a suggested donation of $5.00 at the door. Reservations are not required.

Directed by: Rik Lopes, starring Molly Benson, Kirsten Broadbear, Lindsey Cookson, Kelley Greer, Dan Kurtz, Karen Offereins, Sunil Patel, Samuel Richie, Paul Stout

Playing November 21st and 28th, starting at 8 PM.